Today’s headlines read like satire, but it’s all real. You’ll get the truth behind the latest attempt to hoax the Trump team.  Elon Musk exposed over $330 million in SBA loans handed out to kids, including a 9-month-old who got $100K. Pam Bondi says criminal investigations are officially underway. Alina Habba was appointed interim U.S. attorney for New Jersey and is ready to clean house in Cory Booker’s backyard. Hyundai’s pumping $20 billion into the U.S., including its first-ever steel plant in Louisiana. Meanwhile, left-wing activists are planning a massive protest for April 5th, Whitmer just approved a $153M rate hike while her state’s roads rank among the worst, and a woman in Pennsylvania got charged for staging a hate crime at her own desk. Oh—and Biden finally surfaced, but leadership still seems MIA.

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Elon Musk, while wearing a “Trump was right about everything” hat says DOGE uncovered $330 million in SBA loans to children under 11 years old: “The youngest was a 9 month year old, who received a $100,000 loan.”